Dare to Fall on Your Face

Happy Friday everyone! This week I launched my NEW podcast Chingonas In Life!

What a week its been! On Tuesday, May 14th, I officially launched this new show in honor of my Tia Rosa's birthday. Tia Rosa was the OG Chingona, a woman ahead of her time in terms of independence and self-determination. She's the inspiration behind this show and I carry her with me through this project.

Turning 50 in December inspired me to redefine my goals and truly explore the activities that give me joy. Reaching this milestone gave me a new clarity about life and death, one I imagine any of you in this age range have experienced. As my husband James put it, we are at the age where we are truly making REAL plans for retirement. Holy shit! Before this year any conversation about retirement was whimsical, light, fleeting. Now it feels real, imminent, unavoidable.

Our children are older. Our youngest is 16, driving and very independent. Our oldest is graduating from college and our middle is graduating from high school. Of course, they still need us, but not in the same way they did as children. Our place in their lives as primary caretakers is transforming to primary cheerleaders. We're here to support and love them, but they are of the age where they must start taking their own action and being responsible for their own experiences.

And here I am, having played it safe all these years staying well within my comfort zone. And then you wake up and you realize the clock is ticking louder and louder every year. Do you keep playing it safe or do you jump off the cliff? This podcast is my jumping off a cliff. I actually never even thought of creating a podcast. I have always been in media through film and video and this was never a gaol. But here I am., and full disclosure, this is so much fun!

The vision behind this podcast came to me as I was reading stats about Latinas in the media. Even though are numbers are steadily growing in our communities, we lack proportionate representation. What's that about?

As a producer and writer, I am always meeting really amazing people. Lately, I've had the great fortune of meeting many immigrant families from Centra America and Mexico through a project I'm working on. Talking to these women moved me beyond words. These women are chingonas (bad asses)! What they have survived and lived through brought me to tears and also filled me with laughter. Their stories penetrated my soul and that's where this podcast was born.

Chingonas in Life will celebrate women by sharing stories of struggle and strength, love and heartache, of hope and resilience. By being vulnerable and honest, we will transform judgment into compassion. My dream is that we inspire women to release shame about life choices and really explore and understand why we accept roles we don't want.

The first episode was a conversation with my cousin Letty, Tia Rosa's daughter, to frame what we're doing. In this first episode Letty says we never were taught about self-love and we explore ideas of worthiness as Mexican-American women.

My why for this show is to celebrate Latinas in our communities that hold shit down and keep their families going. Even though a part of me is scared to put myself out there and be vulnerable, I am too old and too close to retirement to not share my truth. So here I go, daring to fall on my face. If I do fall on my face, at least I tried. No regrets - life really is too short!

Please, pretty please subscribe to my podcast. I need to have 100 subscribers before I can use cool podcast features on my platform. New episodes will be available every Wednesday. You can listen to Chingonas in Life on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart podcasts, Amazon Music, and Boomerang.

Listen on Amazon Audible

Listen on Spotify

Cheers to a great weekend and to daring greatly!

Monday Morning Affirmation

You Are Enough. You are enough today, tomorrow, this week. You don't need to do more or work harder to gain value. You are worthy as you stand at this very moment. Know this. Believe this. Move through your week with this knowing and great things will appear in your life.

Do You Know Your Worth?

As you move through the different relationships in your life, do you value yourself enough? Have you taken an honest account lately of what you bring to your relationships? How do you show up in meaningful ways for the people you care about? Or are you stuck telling yourself a story of your worth that is old, stuck, or worse, created by someone else?

Really, do you know your worth? Do you look at the house you’ve cleaned and the meals you’ve prepared, and your value comes up short again and again when you compare yourself to insta reels? Did your former self, the one that was free from the burdens of adulting, see herself through a different lens? What happened to her? Where did she go?

When you made the choice to forfeit your dreams so you could be there every single moment for your children and husband what lie did you tell yourself to make it ok? Did you tell yourself that this was only temporary and that you would reclaim your fire once the kids were older? Did you tell yourself that it was ok to let go of the dream, because let’s face it, it probably wasn’t going to work out for you anyway cause you just don't have what it takes?

Stop lying to yourself. Your heart knows you are a warrior. When it comes to your kids you are a fire breathing dragon. You show up to slay their enemies without hesitation over and over again. Why doesn’t that dragon show up for you? Why don’t you let it?

What excuses are you going to make today about why you’re not doing the thing? We both know the real reason you hide behind your coffee cup. You are scared cause what will people say? You haven’t looked at yourself honestly in decades. When was the last time you noticed your accomplishments instead of listing your failures. You’ve allowed insecure people with loose lips to undermine your essence. You’ve cut yourself off at the knees and then looked around to see who was holding the knife.

Take some responsibility and accept you are the one that devalued yourself and gave up. Was there ever a point in your life when you weren’t afraid? Remember the time you made art in your living room and wrote stories that challenged privileged oppressors? Remember that girl in her Dr. Martens holding the invisible sledge hammer in her hands? Guess what, she never left.

Experiences with difficult people including your childhood caretakers made you question your worth. You decided to dim your light so that no one would go blind. You convinced yourself that in order for your kids to shine, you had to turn yourself off. What a stupid thing to think. This didn’t make them brighter. It made them comfortable with the dark. You taught their eyes to focus on the shadows instead of reveling in the light.

Don’t keep hiding behind your well-worn cover of shame and pretend you’re alright. Give yourself grace and show up for yourself instead. It’s not your fault those things happened to you, but it is your responsibility to heal.  

Take a breath. You’ve already come this far. You’re exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment. Spirit has never abandoned you. Her voice may have been more quiet than a whisper, but she’s always been there, waiting for you with gentle love. Listen to her now. Let her voice grow louder inside of you until it propels your body forward. . 

I know this is the scariest thing you’ve ever done and each step forward feels heavier than the last. Do this for yourself. If you need some inspiration look at the faces of your beautiful creations and show them it’s never too late to begin the journey toward realization and truth. Follow your truth. Know your truth. Freedom is yours if you have the courage to take small steps each day towards the sun.

With Love, only with LOVE.