Any amount of self-doubt, no matter how small, will prevent you from realizing your full potential and manifesting your dreams. Self-doubt is unnecessary baggage you have agreed to carry on your life journey. People and experiences have added heavy items to this bag over time. Instead of putting it down because it's too heavy, you say, "Wait, hold on. I can rearrange what's inside my bag so I can fit more shit in here." Aren't you tired of being weighed down by self-doubt?
We are dreamers. We are creators. We are designed to escape the ordinary by imagining the extraordinary. Children aren't limited. They dream big. They dream about flying to the moon or singing for thousands of adoring fans. We all start in life believing we are limitless and that anything is possible. But, eventually, self-doubt creeps in and we allow our dreams to die as we age.
What caused you to stop believing that anything was possible? Was it the prickly, sometimes traumatic evolution from childhood to adulthood? Was it some form of abuse? Was it your parents who insisted you face reality and stop dreaming? Self-doubt is delivered to us in many ways through various experiences.
Reflecting and knowing when the seeds of self-doubt were planted will help relieve the regret and unworthiness you feel when you think of what could have been. You are still here, still living, still able to change the trajectory of your life. Stop beating yourself up about going off course. We have all taken detours. Accept that your detours were necessary for the evolution of your spirit.
I clearly remember the day I started carrying self-doubt. I was in the 11th grade attending a Worlds Affairs Luncheon at the Beverly Hills Hotel. An English teacher I didn't know well was our chaperone. This teacher asked me a series of questions and made comments that made me feel poor and different from the other luncheon guests. The microaggressions I experienced that afternoon made an impact.
Before this, I was on top of the world. I was full of confidence, excited about my future and potential career. I had high hopes of attending an elite college, and I knew I was securely on that road. This teacher, whose name I can't even remember today, changed the way I saw myself in relation to others. I was part of a minority group that wasn't destined to succeed, and people like her didn't really believe that I could compete with white, rich, male peers.
That day I felt-less-than. I felt unworthy of Beverly Hills. Even though I did get into an elite college, the microaggressions were consistent, and they kept on coming indirectly shaping my beliefs about myself. My baggage grew heavier and heavier. In my twenties, despite how heavy my bag was, I just kept on moving.
Eventually, the weight became too much to carry, and I stopped trying to walk. I convinced myself that I liked where I was. I had a career, a family. I was living better than my parents. "Yes," I told myself, "I do like the view from where I'm standing right now." And it was partly true. But your truth figures out a way to get out. It refuses to stay hidden long. My truth was that I had settled for a less-than-life because I didn't believe I could achieve my dream of writing and producing films and books. I was stuck. I couldn't move forward. Instead of screaming for help, I told myself I was lucky.
I created reasons to explain why my childhood dreams weren't meant for me. At times I would become depressed as my truth would scream so loudly it disturbed my peace. Self-doubt made me feel unworthy. I thought, "Who am I to dream this big?" It wasn't until I came across this quote from Marianne Williamson in my thirties that I decided to make a change.
"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"
I know I'm not alone. I have met and talked to so many people just like me that yearn for passion and fulfillment. You've carried self-doubt long enough. Stop hiding behind statements like, "I don't have enough time," or "My kids are my priority right now." You can have it all. You deserve to have it all. You deserve to take the adventure of a lifetime as you journey towards your dreams!
I know it's not easy to get going. You have carried this baggage for so long it feels very strange to be free of it. You may fear that you will be so light you may simply float away. I promise if you dare to drop that bag, you will begin to move in the path you were always meant to follow. Believe in yourself and see what the future holds for you.