As you move through the different relationships in your life, do you value yourself enough? Have you taken an honest account lately of what you bring to your relationships? How do you show up in meaningful ways for the people you care about? Or are you stuck telling yourself a story of your worth that is old, stuck, or worse, created by someone else?
Really, do you know your worth? Do you look at the house you’ve cleaned and the meals you’ve prepared, and your value comes up short again and again when you compare yourself to insta reels? Did your former self, the one that was free from the burdens of adulting, see herself through a different lens? What happened to her? Where did she go?
When you made the choice to forfeit your dreams so you could be there every single moment for your children and husband what lie did you tell yourself to make it ok? Did you tell yourself that this was only temporary and that you would reclaim your fire once the kids were older? Did you tell yourself that it was ok to let go of the dream, because let’s face it, it probably wasn’t going to work out for you anyway cause you just don't have what it takes?
Stop lying to yourself. Your heart knows you are a warrior. When it comes to your kids you are a fire breathing dragon. You show up to slay their enemies without hesitation over and over again. Why doesn’t that dragon show up for you? Why don’t you let it?
What excuses are you going to make today about why you’re not doing the thing? We both know the real reason you hide behind your coffee cup. You are scared cause what will people say? You haven’t looked at yourself honestly in decades. When was the last time you noticed your accomplishments instead of listing your failures. You’ve allowed insecure people with loose lips to undermine your essence. You’ve cut yourself off at the knees and then looked around to see who was holding the knife.
Take some responsibility and accept you are the one that devalued yourself and gave up. Was there ever a point in your life when you weren’t afraid? Remember the time you made art in your living room and wrote stories that challenged privileged oppressors? Remember that girl in her Dr. Martens holding the invisible sledge hammer in her hands? Guess what, she never left.
Experiences with difficult people including your childhood caretakers made you question your worth. You decided to dim your light so that no one would go blind. You convinced yourself that in order for your kids to shine, you had to turn yourself off. What a stupid thing to think. This didn’t make them brighter. It made them comfortable with the dark. You taught their eyes to focus on the shadows instead of reveling in the light.
Don’t keep hiding behind your well-worn cover of shame and pretend you’re alright. Give yourself grace and show up for yourself instead. It’s not your fault those things happened to you, but it is your responsibility to heal.
Take a breath. You’ve already come this far. You’re exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment. Spirit has never abandoned you. Her voice may have been more quiet than a whisper, but she’s always been there, waiting for you with gentle love. Listen to her now. Let her voice grow louder inside of you until it propels your body forward. .
I know this is the scariest thing you’ve ever done and each step forward feels heavier than the last. Do this for yourself. If you need some inspiration look at the faces of your beautiful creations and show them it’s never too late to begin the journey toward realization and truth. Follow your truth. Know your truth. Freedom is yours if you have the courage to take small steps each day towards the sun.
With Love, only with LOVE.