Be "Childish" This Halloween!

Happy almost Halloween! How are you feeling about Halloween this year? Are you still celebrating? We have so many family and friends that absolutely LOVE Halloween. This is the one holiday they go all out for. They design haunted houses and always create the most amazing costumes. I am always in awe of the time and effort they spend transforming themselves into different characters and creatures.

I fondly remember a grandmother I would talk to waiting for Akira to come out of the kindergarten gate. She had an amazing collection of creepy, scary dolls. She showed us photos of her collection while we waited for the kids. She announced when she got a “new baby” and would delight us with stories of people running out of her haunted house screaming in terror. At the time her passion for Halloween seemed wild to me, and she was judged by some of the moms as being crazy. With time and a little wisdom I think I finally understand her WHY. She enjoyed being "childish" and that kept her young.

Halloween is the one day we have permission to truly be children again. It’s about dressing up, eating candy, hopefully feeling the thrill of being scared by a monster popping out from the corner. It’s a simple holiday too. We don’t have to prepare a turkey or wrap presents. We don’t have to clean the house cause trick-or-treaters aren’t coming inside. All we have to do is ignite our imaginations and let go.

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

Remember as a child dressing up not just on Halloween, but all year round? I remember spending hours playing Star Wars with my brother and cousins. I would wrap myself up in a white sheet, twirl my hair in buns, and I was instantly transformed into Princess Leia. We spent hours killing storm troopers with our lightsabers and my brother’s bunk bed became the Millennium Falcon. I remember the hours and hours of laughter we shared on Alderaan.

And then society began to tell us to grow up and to part with our childish ways. Being “childish” became an insult and we learned to avoid the rich fantasy worlds we used to visit. We abandoned imagination to become serious and hard working. Our desire to play was replaced with our desire to acquire material wealth. We convinced ourselves that this was the path to a successful life.

By reconnecting to our inner child on Halloween we are reminded to not take ourselves so seriously. This holiday transports us to a simpler time when we didn’t have a mortgage and only had to worry about grabbing a pillowcase big enough to hold a lot of candy. I propose we use Halloween as a starting point to remind ourselves that being “childish” isn’t a bad thing if viewed through the lens of play.

And let’s not stop with Halloween. Let’s figure out a way to add fun and play to our adult lives all year round. Let’s model to our children that play and laughter are an essential part of being happy in life. So carve your pumpkins, eat candy corn, and plan a few tricks for your family. Make them laugh hard and enjoy your time together. For a truly well balanced adult will always embrace their "childish" ways.

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City and County websites have published guidelines and videos on how to have a safe Halloween during COVID. Here's the link for San Bernardino County: https://wp.sbcounty.gov/cao/countywire/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/San-Bernardino-County-Guidance-for-Celebrating-Halloween-FINAL-9-23-20.pdf

Connecting to Spirit, your Authentic Self

When I started doing Kelee® meditation, I dragged myself into it kicking and screaming. I dug in my heels like a mule. I figured this whole meditation thing was probably a waste of time. I only did it because Ken, the handsome guitar player that I was crazy in love with, thought it would be something cool for us to share. When I joined Ken’s Kelee class with Ron W. Rathbun, I was a pain in the ass. Defiant. Arms crossed.

I thought: “Seriously, how much could ten minutes a day of this Kelee stuff do for me?”

Then something annoying happened.

But before I tell you what it was, let me describe to you the pre-Kelee me. As a high school teacher, I was proud that I was often up at midnight grading papers and doing class prep. I usually got only six hours of sleep. On campus, I was always sprinting full speed from one place to another to get things done. (I fell down three times doing that.) That showed how dedicated I was. Right?

But after a few weeks of doing Kelee for five minutes twice a day, I noticed that I began to feel different. Clearer. More centered. Calmer. I was a bit irritated that this “waste of time” meditation was making changes in me for the better. But it felt so good that I kept doing the practice. What I didn’t know was that Kelee was going to do a lot more for me than reduce my stress.

A couple months later, during class, a heartache that I had lived with for forty years simply dissolved. Ever since my father died when I was 12, I’d felt that he had abandoned me. But because of Kelee, I felt his love again and I knew that my dad would never have abandoned me. As we say in the practice, “The brain wonders, but the heart knows.” And I never doubted the practice again. From then on, I was “all in.”

But it was when I had a crisis that I really saw Kelee in action. I got a phone call from Michelle, a tenant at my beach rentals, “Water is coming up in my bathtub and out of my kitchen sink. It’s running all over the floor. I can’t make it stop!” Then from the unit next to Michelle, Carrie called: “My entryway is two inches underwater!” Steve, in Unit C, called, “Water is shooting up in little geysers out of my living room carpet!” I phoned a plumbing company I knew and they said, “Sorry, we can’t help you.” When I arrived at the rentals, I turned off the water main at the street and, in passing, I noticed that because I wasn’t panicking, I could think clearly. I could take one step, and then the next to deal with the situation. It eventually got sorted out and by the way, from then on I taught every new tenant how to turn off the water main at the street.

Remember when you were a kid and you were having a great day? Maybe you were riding your bike, or boogie-boarding in the surf, or lying in the grass watching the clouds go by. Do you remember a moment in your life when love filled your heart for someone you cared about? Those moments are the authentic you. That’s being in spirit.

But we often can’t have that feeling at will. We can’t choose to be in that space where we feel connected to our true self. As I continued doing Kelee meditation, I discovered that it was a way to be in that good-feeling space that is the most “me.”

It has been 23 years since I first went to meditation class as stubborn as a packmule. Today, thanks to Kelee, I know myself and I feel happy in my life. I have had some big challenges but I have been able to make my peace with them. I can honestly say that I am never anxious and I am never depressed. I am content. (How often do you hear someone say that?) I still screw up impressively at times, but I’m getting better at forgiving myself, and I’m grateful to keep learning and evolving. I often think of Ron’s advice, “Be kind to yourself.” My husband Ken and I are still sharing our experiences with the Kelee practice and that’s a deep bond between us.

My life’s dream has always been to be a writer. Over these 23 years, I have published articles and poetry and have completed a couple biographies and the screenplay for an indie film. Kelee helped me to have the focus and staying power to see those projects through.

Ron once said, “The Kelee practice is like a cup of pure water. We set it out there and those who can see it will reach for it and drink.”

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For more information about the Kelee practice, see www.thekelee.org and Ron W. Rathbun’s books on Amazon.

Choosing Surrender Over Struggle

As the month of October races to its grand finale marked by Halloween, people are ready to hit fast forward on 2020 and jump right into the holidays. Many are feeling exhausted by the unwelcome changes in lifestyle this year has forced. Every birthday party postponed, vacation delayed, family celebration on hold pushes us to anger and frustration. These unwanted consequences of COVID keep showing up and we are tied up in the struggle and fight for"what was". Why is so much wrong in our world right now? As Eckhart Tolle explains, “Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing.”

Focusing on what we don’t want is the fastest way to invite fear and depression into our souls. It’s like the Chinese finger trap, the more you struggle and pull the more trapped you become. Ending the struggle and relaxing the hands releases the fingers. Choosing surrender over struggles takes courage.

Having the courage to choose to surrender to “what is” at the present moment is not giving up. It’s the exact opposite. Surrender is the vehicle that creates greater connection. Are you living your best life by dwelling on struggle? Are the important people in your life feeling loved when you’re distracted by anxiety and fear? The connections you create with those you cherish is what makes life beautiful and meaningful. Choose to surrender over struggle and allow joy and peace to flow through you to those you love.

Shift to Gratitude: Being in a genuine state of gratitude is the most powerful healer. Think about someone or something you love. Hold that image in your mind and offer a silent thank you.

Reflect and Accept: Surrender prompts us to slow down, reflect, and accept. We learn to appreciate the texture and shape of our current existence by uncovering the hidden truths they have come to reveal. Every experience comes with a lesson.

Decide to Flow Down Stream: The more we stay stuck in the discord between what we want to happen and what is actually happening the more we hurt. It’s always harder to swim upstream than to surrender to the current that effortlessly carries us down.

Wish Joy to Others: Think about one person in your life that you love. Imagine them feeling happiness. Focus on the love you share. Wish them health. Wish them abundance. Wish them success. Wish them joy.

Be Your Own Best Friend: Find a place where you can be alone and sit quietly for a few minutes. During this time be your own best friend and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with what you've been given. Tell yourself that you are perfectly imperfect and a “good enough” parent, partner, and person.

Care for Others: Schedule time to call someone that’s been on your mind or that you’ve been worried about. Ask them how they feel. Caring for others is healing and will lift your own spirit.

Breathe: Find a quiet place to sit and breathe. Focus on your breath and relax. When you calm your breath your mind will follow.

Ask for Help: When feelings of overwhelm begin to take control reach out to a family member, friend, or mental health professional. Getting support is the best way to surrender and begin to let go of the stress, anxiety and depression you may be experiencing. You are not alone. Help is always available.

And always remember, you are loved!