Choosing Surrender Over Struggle

As the month of October races to its grand finale marked by Halloween, people are ready to hit fast forward on 2020 and jump right into the holidays. Many are feeling exhausted by the unwelcome changes in lifestyle this year has forced. Every birthday party postponed, vacation delayed, family celebration on hold pushes us to anger and frustration. These unwanted consequences of COVID keep showing up and we are tied up in the struggle and fight for"what was". Why is so much wrong in our world right now? As Eckhart Tolle explains, “Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing.”

Focusing on what we don’t want is the fastest way to invite fear and depression into our souls. It’s like the Chinese finger trap, the more you struggle and pull the more trapped you become. Ending the struggle and relaxing the hands releases the fingers. Choosing surrender over struggles takes courage.

Having the courage to choose to surrender to “what is” at the present moment is not giving up. It’s the exact opposite. Surrender is the vehicle that creates greater connection. Are you living your best life by dwelling on struggle? Are the important people in your life feeling loved when you’re distracted by anxiety and fear? The connections you create with those you cherish is what makes life beautiful and meaningful. Choose to surrender over struggle and allow joy and peace to flow through you to those you love.

Shift to Gratitude: Being in a genuine state of gratitude is the most powerful healer. Think about someone or something you love. Hold that image in your mind and offer a silent thank you.

Reflect and Accept: Surrender prompts us to slow down, reflect, and accept. We learn to appreciate the texture and shape of our current existence by uncovering the hidden truths they have come to reveal. Every experience comes with a lesson.

Decide to Flow Down Stream: The more we stay stuck in the discord between what we want to happen and what is actually happening the more we hurt. It’s always harder to swim upstream than to surrender to the current that effortlessly carries us down.

Wish Joy to Others: Think about one person in your life that you love. Imagine them feeling happiness. Focus on the love you share. Wish them health. Wish them abundance. Wish them success. Wish them joy.

Be Your Own Best Friend: Find a place where you can be alone and sit quietly for a few minutes. During this time be your own best friend and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with what you've been given. Tell yourself that you are perfectly imperfect and a “good enough” parent, partner, and person.

Care for Others: Schedule time to call someone that’s been on your mind or that you’ve been worried about. Ask them how they feel. Caring for others is healing and will lift your own spirit.

Breathe: Find a quiet place to sit and breathe. Focus on your breath and relax. When you calm your breath your mind will follow.

Ask for Help: When feelings of overwhelm begin to take control reach out to a family member, friend, or mental health professional. Getting support is the best way to surrender and begin to let go of the stress, anxiety and depression you may be experiencing. You are not alone. Help is always available.

And always remember, you are loved!

"The Real Treasure Is You"

The Horror of Paw Prints

Yesterday I spent hours cleaning and then enjoyed some time listening to my favorite songs on Pandora. It was such a nice, relaxing treat and I sang and enjoyed my freshly mopped floors. A little while later James and the kids came home from surfing and James went to the backyard to rinse out his wetsuit. Our three dogs followed him outside and trekked back in with wet, dirty paws. THE HORROR! Now there were paw prints and footprints on the floor I had just mopped only an hour ago! I became instantly frustrated.

Why bother cleaning? Why do THEY not care that I just cleaned? This wasn't the first time after hours of work that I have asked the cleaning gods these questions. I really started to get myself worked up and had to give myself a "timeout". I retreated to my sparkling, clean bathroom and then thought: How long before the kids get the bathroom dirty? I was fueling the fire and becoming more and more resentful. And then this thought came to mind: If I was alone the house would stay clean.

If I was ALONE, my house would be clean. ALONE. Did I really want to be ALONE? Without any resistance or hesitation the answer was an overwhelming NO. I don’t want to be alone. I realized at that very moment that instead of being upset about the dirty floors I could shift my perspective and view the dirt on the floor with gratitude. Kids, dogs and an amazing husband make my floors dirty. I have these amazing people and fur babies in my house that make it so that I am not alone in this world at this moment in time. I am here with this crazy crew and they bring me infinite joy and love daily. I really should be feeling grateful that they are here with me right now LIVING!

After focusing on this mind shift for some time I then thought about all the people in this world that are all alone during this pandemic. All the people that have lost loved ones unexpectedly this year. The people that are feeling isolated in nursing homes or hospital beds away from their friends and family. Would they trade a clean house for laughter, love, and companionship?

Gratitude flooded my entire being until I was able to laugh at myself for being so irritated earlier and taking myself way too seriously. I decided to look at the the paw prints and footprints on my freshly mopped floor as a reminder that my life path is lined with love. I encourage you to take a few moments right now to reflect on the love that flows to you at this very moment from the people in your tribe. Silently thank them for the beautiful mess they create in your life.