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  • Writer's pictureJeanette Miura

Choosing Surrender Over Struggle

Updated: Oct 22, 2020

As the month of October races to its grand finale marked by Halloween, people are ready to hit fast forward on 2020 and jump right into the holidays. Many are feeling exhausted by the unwelcome changes in lifestyle this year has forced. Every birthday party postponed, vacation delayed, family celebration on hold pushes us to anger and frustration. These unwanted consequences of COVID keep showing up and we are tied up in the struggle and fight for"what was". Why is so much wrong in our world right now? As Eckhart Tolle explains, “Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing.”

Focusing on what we don’t want is the fastest way to invite fear and depression into our souls. It’s like the Chinese finger trap, the more you struggle and pull the more trapped you become. Ending the struggle and relaxing the hands releases the fingers. Choosing surrender over struggles takes courage.

Having the courage to choose to surrender to “what is” at the present moment is not giving up. It’s the exact opposite. Surrender is the vehicle that creates greater connection. Are you living your best life by dwelling on struggle? Are the important people in your life feeling loved when you’re distracted by anxiety and fear? The connections you create with those you cherish is what makes life beautiful and meaningful. Choose to surrender over struggle and allow joy and peace to flow through you to those you love.

Shift to Gratitude: Being in a genuine state of gratitude is the most powerful healer. Think about someone or something you love. Hold that image in your mind and offer a silent thank you.

Reflect and Accept: Surrender prompts us to slow down, reflect, and accept. We learn to appreciate the texture and shape of our current existence by uncovering the hidden truths they have come to reveal. Every experience comes with a lesson.

Decide to Flow Down Stream: The more we stay stuck in the discord between what we want to happen and what is actually happening the more we hurt. It’s always harder to swim upstream than to surrender to the current that effortlessly carries us down.

Wish Joy to Others: Think about one person in your life that you love. Imagine them feeling happiness. Focus on the love you share. Wish them health. Wish them abundance. Wish them success. Wish them joy.

Be Your Own Best Friend: Find a place where you can be alone and sit quietly for a few minutes. During this time be your own best friend and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with what you've been given. Tell yourself that you are perfectly imperfect and a “good enough” parent, partner, and person.

Care for Others: Schedule time to call someone that’s been on your mind or that you’ve been worried about. Ask them how they feel. Caring for others is healing and will lift your own spirit.

Breathe: Find a quiet place to sit and breathe. Focus on your breath and relax. When you calm your breath your mind will follow.

Ask for Help: When feelings of overwhelm begin to take control reach out to a family member, friend, or mental health professional. Getting support is the best way to surrender and begin to let go of the stress, anxiety and depression you may be experiencing. You are not alone. Help is always available.

And always remember, you are loved!

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1 Kommentar

25. Okt. 2020

I really enjoyed this post on surrender, Jeanette. (though it made me wonder whether the piece I wrote might be too fiery for your blog....ha ha). But seriously, there are such beautiful thoughts here. I especially connected to the value of being with ourselves. That's something I'm appreciating more and more in my solitary walks at daybreak.

I also notice that the rhythm of your writing on surrender has a peaceful, letting-go feel that matches the content. So cool. That's something I first learned about in the Robt. Frost poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening." In that poem, Frost makes the words

Which takes me on to Frost's poem "Fire and Ice," which takes me back to…

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