Practice Art - Make Your Soul Grow

"Practice any art....no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow." Kurt Vonnegut

This advice by Kurt Vonnegut is exactly why I launched Fiery Living last month. It was an impulse that I decided to follow solely to grow my soul. My regular mode of operation is that of an over thinker. My mom nostalgically tells the story of my first steps. She says that I refused to take my first step as a baby until I was absolutely sure I would not fall. I looked around, assessed the room, and after a thorough risk analysis finally took my first step.

Fiery Living has forced me to step outside my comfort zone and jump in! For the first time I have decided to "feel" my way through a project instead of over thinking my way through. I have decided to focus on all of the reasons why I should be doing this instead of talking myself out of it in order to protect my ego. Through writing and this platform I am powerfully learning who I am, and more importantly becoming comfortable sharing this authentic self with the world.

Create and dream with me. Share your art with the world! I am happy to post your writing, artwork, music, or video on this website. You are brilliant. Inspire others to live strongly and brightly.

Wishing everyone a joyous day filled with love and laughter.

Letter from Kurt Vonnegut to a High School English Class

In 2006 a high school English teacher asked students to write a famous author and ask for advice. Kurt Vonnegut was the only one to respond - and his response is magnificent:

“Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:

I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.

What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.

Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.

Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?

Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash receptacles. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.

God bless you all!

Kurt Vonnegut

Photo Credit: Jamez Miura - Rae Lakes.

This backpacking trip to Rae Lakes was my first jump into living strongly. I found the courage to do something I was really scared of. Here I am resting after having climbed Glenn Pass (11,000 feet). I completed a 41 mile loop with a 30 lbs pack strapped to my back and life has never been the same since.

Be "Childish" This Halloween!

Happy almost Halloween! How are you feeling about Halloween this year? Are you still celebrating? We have so many family and friends that absolutely LOVE Halloween. This is the one holiday they go all out for. They design haunted houses and always create the most amazing costumes. I am always in awe of the time and effort they spend transforming themselves into different characters and creatures.

I fondly remember a grandmother I would talk to waiting for Akira to come out of the kindergarten gate. She had an amazing collection of creepy, scary dolls. She showed us photos of her collection while we waited for the kids. She announced when she got a “new baby” and would delight us with stories of people running out of her haunted house screaming in terror. At the time her passion for Halloween seemed wild to me, and she was judged by some of the moms as being crazy. With time and a little wisdom I think I finally understand her WHY. She enjoyed being "childish" and that kept her young.

Halloween is the one day we have permission to truly be children again. It’s about dressing up, eating candy, hopefully feeling the thrill of being scared by a monster popping out from the corner. It’s a simple holiday too. We don’t have to prepare a turkey or wrap presents. We don’t have to clean the house cause trick-or-treaters aren’t coming inside. All we have to do is ignite our imaginations and let go.

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

Remember as a child dressing up not just on Halloween, but all year round? I remember spending hours playing Star Wars with my brother and cousins. I would wrap myself up in a white sheet, twirl my hair in buns, and I was instantly transformed into Princess Leia. We spent hours killing storm troopers with our lightsabers and my brother’s bunk bed became the Millennium Falcon. I remember the hours and hours of laughter we shared on Alderaan.

And then society began to tell us to grow up and to part with our childish ways. Being “childish” became an insult and we learned to avoid the rich fantasy worlds we used to visit. We abandoned imagination to become serious and hard working. Our desire to play was replaced with our desire to acquire material wealth. We convinced ourselves that this was the path to a successful life.

By reconnecting to our inner child on Halloween we are reminded to not take ourselves so seriously. This holiday transports us to a simpler time when we didn’t have a mortgage and only had to worry about grabbing a pillowcase big enough to hold a lot of candy. I propose we use Halloween as a starting point to remind ourselves that being “childish” isn’t a bad thing if viewed through the lens of play.

And let’s not stop with Halloween. Let’s figure out a way to add fun and play to our adult lives all year round. Let’s model to our children that play and laughter are an essential part of being happy in life. So carve your pumpkins, eat candy corn, and plan a few tricks for your family. Make them laugh hard and enjoy your time together. For a truly well balanced adult will always embrace their "childish" ways.

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City and County websites have published guidelines and videos on how to have a safe Halloween during COVID. Here's the link for San Bernardino County: https://wp.sbcounty.gov/cao/countywire/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/San-Bernardino-County-Guidance-for-Celebrating-Halloween-FINAL-9-23-20.pdf

Connecting to Spirit, your Authentic Self

When I started doing Kelee® meditation, I dragged myself into it kicking and screaming. I dug in my heels like a mule. I figured this whole meditation thing was probably a waste of time. I only did it because Ken, the handsome guitar player that I was crazy in love with, thought it would be something cool for us to share. When I joined Ken’s Kelee class with Ron W. Rathbun, I was a pain in the ass. Defiant. Arms crossed.

I thought: “Seriously, how much could ten minutes a day of this Kelee stuff do for me?”

Then something annoying happened.

But before I tell you what it was, let me describe to you the pre-Kelee me. As a high school teacher, I was proud that I was often up at midnight grading papers and doing class prep. I usually got only six hours of sleep. On campus, I was always sprinting full speed from one place to another to get things done. (I fell down three times doing that.) That showed how dedicated I was. Right?

But after a few weeks of doing Kelee for five minutes twice a day, I noticed that I began to feel different. Clearer. More centered. Calmer. I was a bit irritated that this “waste of time” meditation was making changes in me for the better. But it felt so good that I kept doing the practice. What I didn’t know was that Kelee was going to do a lot more for me than reduce my stress.

A couple months later, during class, a heartache that I had lived with for forty years simply dissolved. Ever since my father died when I was 12, I’d felt that he had abandoned me. But because of Kelee, I felt his love again and I knew that my dad would never have abandoned me. As we say in the practice, “The brain wonders, but the heart knows.” And I never doubted the practice again. From then on, I was “all in.”

But it was when I had a crisis that I really saw Kelee in action. I got a phone call from Michelle, a tenant at my beach rentals, “Water is coming up in my bathtub and out of my kitchen sink. It’s running all over the floor. I can’t make it stop!” Then from the unit next to Michelle, Carrie called: “My entryway is two inches underwater!” Steve, in Unit C, called, “Water is shooting up in little geysers out of my living room carpet!” I phoned a plumbing company I knew and they said, “Sorry, we can’t help you.” When I arrived at the rentals, I turned off the water main at the street and, in passing, I noticed that because I wasn’t panicking, I could think clearly. I could take one step, and then the next to deal with the situation. It eventually got sorted out and by the way, from then on I taught every new tenant how to turn off the water main at the street.

Remember when you were a kid and you were having a great day? Maybe you were riding your bike, or boogie-boarding in the surf, or lying in the grass watching the clouds go by. Do you remember a moment in your life when love filled your heart for someone you cared about? Those moments are the authentic you. That’s being in spirit.

But we often can’t have that feeling at will. We can’t choose to be in that space where we feel connected to our true self. As I continued doing Kelee meditation, I discovered that it was a way to be in that good-feeling space that is the most “me.”

It has been 23 years since I first went to meditation class as stubborn as a packmule. Today, thanks to Kelee, I know myself and I feel happy in my life. I have had some big challenges but I have been able to make my peace with them. I can honestly say that I am never anxious and I am never depressed. I am content. (How often do you hear someone say that?) I still screw up impressively at times, but I’m getting better at forgiving myself, and I’m grateful to keep learning and evolving. I often think of Ron’s advice, “Be kind to yourself.” My husband Ken and I are still sharing our experiences with the Kelee practice and that’s a deep bond between us.

My life’s dream has always been to be a writer. Over these 23 years, I have published articles and poetry and have completed a couple biographies and the screenplay for an indie film. Kelee helped me to have the focus and staying power to see those projects through.

Ron once said, “The Kelee practice is like a cup of pure water. We set it out there and those who can see it will reach for it and drink.”

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For more information about the Kelee practice, see www.thekelee.org and Ron W. Rathbun’s books on Amazon.