• Anitra Carol Smith

Connecting to Spirit, your Authentic Self

Updated: Oct 30, 2020

When I started doing Kelee® meditation, I dragged myself into it kicking and screaming. I dug in my heels like a mule. I figured this whole meditation thing was probably a waste of time. I only did it because Ken, the handsome guitar player that I was crazy in love with, thought it would be something cool for us to share. When I joined Ken’s Kelee class with Ron W. Rathbun, I was a pain in the ass. Defiant. Arms crossed.

I thought: “Seriously, how much could ten minutes a day of this Kelee stuff do for me?”

Then something annoying happened.

But before I tell you what it was, let me describe to you the pre-Kelee me. As a high school teacher, I was proud that I was often up at midnight grading papers and doing class prep. I usually got only six hours of sleep. On campus, I was always sprinting full speed from one place to another to get things done. (I fell down three times doing that.) That showed how dedicated I was. Right?

But after a few weeks of doing Kelee for five minutes twice a day, I noticed that I began to feel different. Clearer. More centered. Calmer. I was a bit irritated that this “waste of time” meditation was making changes in me for the better. But it felt so good that I kept doing the practice. What I didn’t know was that Kelee was going to do a lot more for me than reduce my stress.

A couple months later, during class, a heartache that I had lived with for forty years simply dissolved. Ever since my father died when I was 12, I’d felt that he had abandoned me. But because of Kelee, I felt his love again and I knew that my dad would never have abandoned me. As we say in the practice, “The brain wonders, but the heart knows.” And I never doubted the practice again. From then on, I was “all in.”

But it was when I had a crisis that I really saw Kelee in action. I got a phone call from Michelle, a tenant at my beach rentals, “Water is coming up in my bathtub and out of my kitchen sink. It’s running all over the floor. I can’t make it stop!” Then from the unit next to Michelle, Carrie called: “My entryway is two inches underwater!” Steve, in Unit C, called, “Water is shooting up in little geysers out of my living room carpet!” I phoned a plumbing company I knew and they said, “Sorry, we can’t help you.” When I arrived at the rentals, I turned off the water main at the street and, in passing, I noticed that because I wasn’t panicking, I could think clearly. I could take one step, and then the next to deal with the situation. It eventually got sorted out and by the way, from then on I taught every new tenant how to turn off the water main at the street.

Remember when you were a kid and you were having a great day? Maybe you were riding your bike, or boogie-boarding in the surf, or lying in the grass watching the clouds go by. Do you remember a moment in your life when love filled your heart for someone you cared about? Those moments are the authentic you. That’s being in spirit.

But we often can’t have that feeling at will. We can’t choose to be in that space where we feel connected to our true self. As I continued doing Kelee meditation, I discovered that it was a way to be in that good-feeling space that is the most “me.”

It has been 23 years since I first went to meditation class as stubborn as a packmule. Today, thanks to Kelee, I know myself and I feel happy in my life. I have had some big challenges but I have been able to make my peace with them. I can honestly say that I am never anxious and I am never depressed. I am content. (How often do you hear someone say that?) I still screw up impressively at times, but I’m getting better at forgiving myself, and I’m grateful to keep learning and evolving. I often think of Ron’s advice, “Be kind to yourself.” My husband Ken and I are still sharing our experiences with the Kelee practice and that’s a deep bond between us.

My life’s dream has always been to be a writer. Over these 23 years, I have published articles and poetry and have completed a couple biographies and the screenplay for an indie film. Kelee helped me to have the focus and staying power to see those projects through.

Ron once said, “The Kelee practice is like a cup of pure water. We set it out there and those who can see it will reach for it and drink.”


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For more information about the Kelee practice, see www.thekelee.org and Ron W. Rathbun’s books on Amazon.


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