Create the Life You Want!

We tend to get stuck on the idea that life happens to us, that we are powerless and have only limited control over the future. In reality, you are the creator of your life, every, single aspect of it. You are the one that determines what comes to you and when. You are the one that attracts the "right" or "wrong" people into your life. Having the awareness that you can create the life you want is the first step. Imagining what you want your life to look like is the second. Telling your story they way you wish it to be is next. Do you want a new job? Is there a profession you would like to pursue? Is there a place you would like to visit? Take the time to set clear goals. Write down your intentions. and speak them into the universe. Allow all that you desire to come to you when you believe you are the ultimate creator.

Photo by Jamez Miura

Finding the Path to Reclaiming Your Dreams

How are you living today?

When I created Fiery Living last year, I was a 46 year-old in the middle of a pandemic thinking, what do I do now? All of a sudden, I had all of this time. I wasn’t rushing to work or rushing to get the kids to school. I was sitting outside thinking and watching all these birds in my backyard I had never seen before. For the first time in years, I had time to be creative and play. I started remembering the person I was before. The person that had so many dreams and believed anything was possible. The person that never worried if there was enough money because living was simple back then. Like many adults, I traded fulfilling my potential for financial comfort, and I did this without processing or acknowledging that this was what was happening.

In my early twenties I spent a lot of time writing scripts. I had huge aspirations for my future. Coming from an underclass, immigrant, imposter syndrome mindset, I received the clear message that writing was only a dream. I was told by several trusted people in my life that I should focus on the pursuit of financial stability instead of my creative talent. Writing should be a hobby, not a career. I agreed with the naysayers and started down a dependable career path with a salary and an office. This path was fine, and I did enjoy most of it. Then the kids came and again, I made choices to keep money coming in. I made many unhealthy compromises in the name of my kids, my husband, and my job. I traded creativity for mundane stability.

Fast forward to 2016 when I woke up one day not feeling great. I had become accustomed to running on autopilot most of the time. I was a creature of habit and routine. I kept a to-do list and finished all the tasks and chores by their deadlines. From the outside looking in I was great. My family was great. Then my oldest son was working on an autobiographical book report and interviewed us. He first asked my husband, his father about his hobbies. James had many. He was a triathlete, a cyclist, a singer in several music bands. He was able to really engage with this question and it was impressive. When it was my turn to respond I didn’t have any hobbies to list. My spirit was not engaged in anything meaningful. I was the typical mom prioritizing being a mom. I was silently and slowly killing the women I once dreamt of becoming. After that interview I went to the garage and pulled out my writing box. It was filled with stories and scripts I had written decades ago. I sat for hours reading my work. Some of it was absolute trash, but some of it wasn’t bad, and some of it quite good. Then and there I decided to start writing again and return to filmmaking.

Jump to 2020 and I now can say that I have written a book that I hope to publish in 2022. I have started a blog that I LOVE. I have co-written and produced a film that has won two festival awards this year. I went from sitting on the couch to walking down the path of my dream self. I made the necessary mental shift to prioritize my mental well-being and spirit. I chose to again be creative and return to the dream I had deferred so long ago.

Fiery Living is about you finding your path, returning to your dreams. It’s about you choosing to regain something you may have lost or start something completely new that you have always wanted to try. It’s about setting time aside for yourself to do whatever you want for no reason other than sheer desire! It’s about living in a way that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. It’s about finding your joy and reclaiming ALL of your dreams.

RECLAIM YOUR DREAMS

Today I encourage you to take a moment to remember the person you were before life became complicated. The person you were before kids and jobs and adulting. Who were you then? What did you love about that person? What did you love to do? And then make a plan to reconnect with your dreams. For me writing was the way I reconnected with my dream self.

Let go of the numbness and GO GET IT!

If you are interested in joining this Fiery Living journey of reclaiming your dreams let’s talk. Send me an email (fierylivingme@gmail.com) and get the ball rolling! We’re here to encourage you along the way. Just remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step, and the decision to take that step.

Coping With Loss and Grief - Finding My Way Back to Joy

"Mom, are you happy?”, my 15-year-old daughter asked me a few nights ago. This caught me by surprise.

“Why do you ask?” was my passively defensive response.

“I dunno…..(long pause) You’ve been binging shows and just sitting on the couch.”

And there it was. The reality of my last few weeks. Was I happy? She knew something about me wasn’t right. Since my Dad died in July my day to day has become quite dull and flat. As much as I want to feel inspired and creative, I just don’t.

Prior to June 19th, the day my Dad went into the hospital, I was buzzing about getting ready to launch my new YouTube content and finish filming a project. I had so many ideas and had a great writing routine going. I mostly sat in gratitude and was able to find joy in so many little things throughout my day. The end of June and the entire month of July I spent focused on my Dad and his health. I am so fortunate that my schedule allowed me to take that time to be completely present for his last days on this earth. After his funeral at the beginning of August, kids started school and life resumed. And now I feel stuck. Stuck trying to return to my previous state of mind.

I haven’t had the desire to follow my usual morning routine. Aside from walking my dogs, I don’t write in my journal anymore. I don’t mediate anymore. I don’t listen to inspirational talks or read inspirational books anymore. Life has become flat and until my daughter pointed this out, I was ok with that.

The day after my father’s funeral my kids returned to school. Two days after that I returned to filming. My schedule became infused with appointments and meetings and I thought I was successfully working through my grief. Except the hustle and bustle didn’t end my grief, it just postponed it. I was hyper focused on getting back to “normal” and thus started neglecting my spirit.

I wrote a FB post last week when my husband returned to work. As I sat in our quiet house, I was overwhelmed by the number of changes related to loss that were behind and ahead of us. The first loss was that of my father. He would have been 86 on August 26. That day was hard. Then we returned Sushi, my niece Biankah’s adorable 7 lbs. Yorkipoo that we had been taking care of for the past few months. Sushi kept me smiling and distracted with her doggy antics. I deeply felt this loss as well.

Our oldest son will be moving into the dorms at UC Santa Cruz in a couple of weeks. We had what I call our bonus year with him during his freshman year of college due to the pandemic. I am thrilled for him and his upcoming adventure, but I’m sad that he is leaving. Everyone is telling me he’ll be back, and of course he will. This is just another change to cope with. Our family of 5 will now be only 4 for dinner.

We’re also packing up my Mom’s house as she has decided to sell. She’s lived there for 52 years. I took my first steps in that house. I climbed the tree in the backyard more times than I can count with my brother and cousin pretending to be Princess Leia. So many memories, both good and bad, born in that house. And this change brings with it two more. My mom will be moving in with us. This is my silver lining because I truly have the best Mom in the world. But the sale of her house means that we will also need to sell our house of 16 years to find a better home that will fit us more comfortably. Saying goodbye to this place that I love will be very hard.

So much change in such a short period of time. My heart is having a hard time keeping up. I’ve responded to the stress of all these changes by lying low and binging Netflix and Hulu. And once I really started thinking about this I realized, I’m ok. It could be worse. I’m getting my work done and getting the kids to school on time. I'm allowing myself time to rest and not forcing myself to be what I can’t be at this moment. I refuse to feel bad about my current state because this too is part of my evolution. Even in this dullness there are lessons I am learning. Everything, absolutely everything that happens to us also happens for us. My first step towards joy is simply being aware of where I stand now and respectfully and lovingly acknowledging why I’m here. I’ve decided to treat myself as my own best friend and instead of judging myself harshly for feeling stuck, I’ve decided to love myself through it until I find my way back to joy. A good friend reminded me that if I had broken my arm, I would not be expected to use that arm for 6 weeks. I am still healing.

As I return to writing and to Fiery Living, a giant source of joy for me, I understand that this experience is why I created this blog to begin with. I wanted to liberate myself from judgment and expectations. I wanted to talk about connecting to our inner selves, our creative selves, our inspired selves. In surrendering to this moment and all the feelings that come with it, I am free.